How to Decide if a Wedding or an Elopement is Right for You, and Why it Matters
It finally happened! You’re ready to marry the love of your life, your best friend, your partner until the end of time.
The only issue: You don’t know exactly how you want to do it. There’s so many options, how do we choose the right one?
Feeling pressured into a big wedding, but that doesn’t feel like what you want? Want to elope, but worried about what people will think of you?
Do you feel like you have to choose the “traditional” route, because that’s what is expected, or are you worried the traditional style won’t fit your vision?
Are you feeling stress, anxiety, fear, over planning a wedding that you may regret having?
Don’t.
I’ve put together the perfect guide for deciding how you both want to get married, and why you should choose a marriage ceremony that fits what the two of you want, and not what you feel you should have.
Why You Should Consider Getting Married in a Way That Fits Your Story:
Whatever you do, you will remember it. Make it something you want to remember.
So many times, we feel pressured into doing something because it feels necessary, or because it is expected of us. Your marriage is not about anyone else; it is about the two of you, and your love for each other. Why would you want to focus on anything else that doesn’t speak to that.
When the two of you spend time together, what do you enjoy doing? What do you avoid? When you choose to do something together that you enjoy, you look back at it and become happy again, don’t you? Of course you do. If it didn’t bring you happiness, you wouldn’t do it.
So why make your wedding any different? You want to look back on it and smile. You want to remember it in a way that it brings you joy, when you’re bored, when you’re sad, when you need to rekindle the bond with your loved one. What’s the point in doing anything you know you will not look forward to remembering later?
How to Decide What to Choose Based on How it Fits Your Story
This wedding is between the two of you, which means it is part of both of your stories, your single love story. Which is why, when you are deciding how to get married, you should sit down together, and ensure that you are both looking forward to the ideas, and that you both contribute to making it the perfect wedding celebration.
Make it a date night. Grab your favorite drink, some snacks, and cuddle up with a notebook or a laptop, and start asking yourselves these questions:
1. What are your favorite memories together?
i. Where were you?
ii. When? What was the time of day, and what was the season?
iii. What were you doing?
iv. Were you alone together? Who was with you?
2. Have you had any previous visions for how you were going to get married?
i. How do you feel about those ideas now? How does your partner feel about them?
3. What are your worst memories together? If you’ve had fights, and these are some of your worst memories, think to the core of the issue, and ask these questions.
i. What do you need to avoid during your wedding to ensure you don’t have any issues?
ii. Are there certain places or activities to avoid? Is there a particular person(s) that always causes problems?
Once you have answers to these questions, hopefully you can reflect back on what made you both the happiest. If it made you happy, it’s probably a great consideration to include in your wedding day.
a. Have a special place that both of you love, or a certain kind of landscape or venue? Make this the backdrop.
b. What were you both doing in your favorite memories? Were you traveling? Adventuring? Staying home? Having a bonfire or a party? Perhaps you want to do it again, or something similar but completely different. Were you hiking in your memories? Choose your favorite hike, or a brand new one to experience. Were you taking a road trip? Maybe consider off roading, or road tripping somewhere new to get married. Travelling the world? Have a destination wedding. Make a list of all the possibilites, and if you still can’t decide, rank them.
c. When were your favorite memories? Do you love the beautiful colors of fall? Or the gorgeous snow of winter? Hate the cold and love the long days of summer? Pick a time that speaks to both of you. Love late nights and sunsets? Ensure you focus your photos around that time and capture the moments of being in that moment perfectly.
d. Who was with you? Do you both have your favorite moments when it is just the two of you together, or are you at your best around friends and family? This should tell you whether you would most enjoy an elopement with just the two of you, or whether to invite friends and family. Maybe you want a combination of both? There is no rulebook saying exactly that you have to do something or another for your big day.
e. When deciding what to avoid, be sure to get to the root of any issues. Was your worst memories when you were with certain people? Or were you both doing something you decided was absolutely not something you enjoy? Whatever it is, avoid including it in your wedding. You don’t want to regret it.
Now that you’ve gone through exactly what you love, and what you don’t, you should have a pretty good idea of what you want to do on your wedding. Whatever you decide, make sure it speaks to you and your story. You won’t be able to rewrite this chapter.
Once you’ve decided if it’s a traditional style wedding or an adventure elopement you are going for, be sure to look for your photographer that suits your style and tells your story to the fullest extent. After all, what would you give to remember exactly how your partner smiled at you when they first see you in your wedding attire?
What would you give to remember exactly how you looked?
What would you give to have a portal into those very moments that you won’t get back?
Hopefully, if you are writing your story as the way you will both enjoy, and want to cherish forever, the answer would be “Anything”.
Looking for a photographer for your intimate wedding or your adventure elopement? I would love to help you out.